Decision
by Yemi Hikari
Summary: spl 413: Gin and Ran, what did their relationship equal? Perhaps it equaled one small taicho, whether it be good, bad... or just... as it is. Collection of one-shots... sixteen...
1. I: Truth I

_Disclaimer – I don't own Bleach contains spoilers for chapter 405. _

**Decision I: Truth I  
~Matsumoto to Gin~**

When Matsumoto felt Ichimaru's spiritual pressure aimed at fighting, she felt her heart break. Part of her wanted to believe that there was still good in her child hood friend, her special someone.

She didn't want him to die, not before she could tell him something important. Hell, she didn't want to die before she could tell him either. It was something important to her, gnawing at her heart for many years.

She knew then, when she felt his rieatsu fluctuating, it was now or never. It didn't matter that she was barely healed, and might tear open again. To her, her words to Gin were a matter of life and death.

She slipped onto the rubble, where Ichimaru was lobbing attacks at the substitute soul reaper. She carefully pulled out her zampaktuo. "Roar, Haineko."

As expected, the fight stalled, as the ash cloud surrounded him, causing him to turn his head towards her. "Ran-chan… what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to bring you back," the female gave him a weak smile.

"Back, back to being alone? The man raised an eyebrow.

"What can Aizen give you?

"When Aizen recreates the world, you and me will live peacefully. No pain, nothing bad happening," Gin tilted his head.

"What about Taicho?" Ran had a look of worry on her face.

"You'll forget him. It will be just you and me," the man stated, anger in his eyes, his normal pale teal, a vivid red.

"You… you are jalousie of him," A few tears trickled down Rangiku's cheeks.

"Why not? You picked him because he has silver hair and teal eyes, like me. He happens to be a child genius like me. He is also better than me."

"He's a child genius because his father _is_ one. He has silver hair and teal eyes _because _his father does. His father should be proud of his son's achievements. If anyone should be jalousie, it should be the mother, who only has ever seen the father in that child, and not any of herself."

"Then again, many a time, that's the only thing of that father his mother has left, whenever he runs away. Please… don't make me forget my baby, Gin."

"Why… why didn't you ever tell me?" Gin's face suddenly faltered.

"Because you're like the wind. It wasn't fair to you, to tie you down."

"I _needed_ to be tied down," came his statement.

Ichigo suddenly interrupted the conversation. "Wait. Toshiro is your guys' love child?"

Gin raised an eyebrow. "What is it with Kurosaki's and ruining the moment?"

_Author's note – As I said, the inspiration for these one-shots is chapter 405. One-shots are easy to write in notebooks, and since I am going to be moving, I am working on getting things in my notebooks typed up, so I can pack some of them away. I don't know how successful I will be. Also, before you say "silver" hair is a contradiction for Toshiro's hair color, it is not. White is actually a variation of silver, and it is described in the Manga and character book as silver, not white._


	2. II: Truth II

**Decision II: Truth II  
~ Gin to Matsumoto ~**

How to survive. How to make it so those you care about survive. You try to manipulate so that they are relatively safe and you are safe. You use primal instinct, combined with an intellectual brain. That is how you survive, and keep those you care about alive.

Ichimaru Gin looked down on anyone who lost the primal instinct, the drive to live. To him, that was something that signaled that the animal… person… was weak. It was a matter of survival of the fittest.

Thus, he had begun to lob attacks at Kurosaki Ichigo, in rapped fire succession. Of course, the boy questioned if Gin would live, after Aizen was done. Gin's answer was to always, always, fight to the bitter end.

However, instinct and intellect could only go so far, when emotions came into play. As he lobbed attacks, he suddenly felt Rangiku's rieatsu close by, and knew she was in trouble. His tactics then changed, as he felt her dying.

He moved and caught her as she fell. "Ran-chan…"

"Please stop. I don't like it when you kill for the wrong reasons."

"How do you know it is wrong, Ran-chan?" the man stated.

"Because I believe you can help turn the tide. You're all I have left," the woman sighed.

"You've got chibi-taicho," the man stated.

"You and I are family…" Rangiku had a sudden sad look on her face.

"Toshiro is also family," the man stated.

"He's not that baby I lost… I could never ask something as cruel as that of him…"

"Ran… he _is_ the baby you lost. I hid him from Aizen. Forgive me for that."

Matsumoto frowned. "What is there to forgive? I think… it is one of the few times… you've done the right thing."

"I want him to know you as his mother," the ex-shingami stated.

"Then why don't you fight Aizen… please," Rangiku gave him a weak smile.

"Because it is impossible," he gave her the same response he had given Ichigo.

"It's only impossible, if you don't try." Rangiku closed her eyes, her strength having been pushed to the limit.


	3. III: Truth III

**Decision III: Truth III  
~ Gin to Matsumoto ~**

Gin had acted like Ichigo was a failure. Yet that boy suddenly turned, and regained the will to fight. He left it so that Gin was now unable to fight, on the ground prone.

"Ichimaru…" came the weak voice from above him.

His eyes snapped open. "Rangiku? You shouldn't be moving."

"Baka! Why did you have to try and die!"

"So that Kurosaki can jump up in strength so that he can fight Aizen. Aizen didn't plan on Ichigo defeating me. He didn't calculate that… I think…"

"But what do you achieve if you die!"

"That you'll live…" Gin muttered. "You've kind of thrown that out the window… perhaps."

"It doesn't matter. I can't live without you…"

"What about our son?" the man muttered.

"Gin… I had a baby girl… she died," Rangiku shook her head, not liking his joke.

"No. I lied. I took the baby boy to my biological mother's place. You've been watching over him for some time." Gin felt a few tears fall onto his face. "That's the real reason that I did this. So he could have a future not in Aizen's control."


	4. IV: Truth IV

**Decision IV: Truth IV  
~ Matsumoto to Gin ~**

Gin lay prone. Ichigo had defeated someone faster than him. He should hopefully defeat Aizen.

Suddenly, he felt Matsumoto's rieatsu near him. A tear fell on his face. "Why? I wanted our son to know his father as a good person."

"I'm still here Ran-chan. I'm not sure what you're talking about. It looks like you'll be gone soon too."

"Hitsugaya Toshiro… he was born in Soul Society," Ran lay down beside Gin.

"Have you told him?" the man asked.

"That I'm his mother…" Rangiku's voice was fading, as was his. "…yes."

"But what about us…" Gin asked.

"He knows he was born before I went into the academy…" Matsumoto glanced at the sky. "He thinks we're close because we were classmates."

"You let him thing that, because it meant less questions from him?"

"I was going to tell him… and he does want to know… but… you followed Aizen," Rangiku sighed. "Do you regret what you've done?"

"No…" gin also glanced at the sky. "I did this so that I could find a way to stop Aizen. Aizen Taicho… I don't think he calculated the kid defeating me."

"The sky… it's beautiful…"

"Yeah… no wonder chibi-taicho's always drawn to it."


	5. V: Death I

**Decision V: Death I  
~Mother ~**

There was someone that Ichimaru needed to speak to. He walked through the halls of the fourth division in search of that one person. Due to their immature control of their rieatsu, they were easy to find.

They sat in the bed, letting Hinamori Momo talk and do whatever she pleased. More of, they let her say whatever she wanted, including calling the small boy Shiro=chan. Gin figured that this was their way of healing from the traumatic events that had happened, and hopefully they would.

"Chibi taicho, can I talk to you privately?" the man had a tired look on his face. Two heads turned towards him, and Momo stepped protectively between her foster brother and the silver haired fox face.

"It's all right, Momo nee-san. I need to talk to him anyways… I think," the small boy smiled. It seemed upon learning of his fukutaicho's death, a lot of the ice had broken away, due to being tired mentally over the loss, and trying to keep his feelings at bay.

The female stepped out of the room, and instantly the child's smile fell, and his icy presence returned, as he glared at Gin. "I understand from Kira that the reason Matsumoto fukutaicho is dead, is because she got up and went to see you. If she hadn't moved, she would still be alive. If she had stayed, she might have lived."

"I have to say, that's true. Ran-chan though, was always stubborn. She would have come," the man pulled up a seat.

"But she wouldn't have, if you hadn't sided with Aizen. She's dead because of you." A great deal of hurt was present in the boy's eyes.

"Yes, I was selfish, and only thinking about what I wanted. Turns out there was a lot I've been missing." Gin moved his chair a little closer, to the boy's annoyance.

Toshiro folded his arms across his chest. "What exactly do you want?"

"What reason did you pick Ran-chan for your fukutaicho? I was rather jealous that you picked her, and she couldn't be mine," the man smiled, and leaned on the table with his elbow.

"I put down that she was my mentor, and helped me to decide to go to the academy," the small boy gave him a wary look.

"You told a half-truth then," the man watched as the boy became more upset. "What is your real relationship with her?"

"You know what?" The small boy bristled. "That isn't yours, or anyone else's business." Hitsugaya's fists suddenly went down to clutch the sheets.

"Ichimaru moved from sitting in the chair, to the edge of the bed, which caused the boy to flinch. "Except Rangiku made it her business when she came to me that day. She told me."

"I don't believe you. Why would she tell you of all people?" The boy's voice strained in anger.

"Maybe she wanted someone to take care of you," the man remained close, and he could feel the bed springs move, as the child flinched yet again.

"I can very well take care of myself."

"Sure you can…" Gin shook his head, not believing the child's words.

"Anyways, you were just her classmate. Her best friend is Nanao. Why you, and not her, especially after what you did!" The small boy turned his head away.

"Ran-chan and I never went to the academy together, Shiro-chan. I don't get where you got that idea from."

"That… can't be." Toshiro mulled over the words. "I want to know exactly what she told you! I don't know if you are telling me the truth, that you know our secret."

"Your mother loved you very much," Gin refused to look the boy in the face."

"I know Ran did. I don't need anyone to tell me that! Why did she tell you of all people! The first few years were awkward for one thing. I mean, she also has a bad enough reputation. When I became captain, I asked her to be my fukutaicho, because it meant we could sort of live together as family."

"I'll tell you the reason she told me. It is because it is high time I stopped running away from the things I should be taking care of," gin suddenly reached into his shingami robe, and pulled out a lieutenant's badge.

"Is that…" Toshiro suddenly bristled.

"No… it's mine, Shiro-chan," the man stated, causing the boy to bristle even more. Venom was in his eyes.

"_That _is a lieutenant's badge for the _tenth _division. _My_ division. I didn't ask for you! Hell, I'm most definitely not ready to replace Matsumoto!"

"As your fukutaicho or your parent? It was Yamamoto's idea, a way for me to pay for the problems I caused. I'm serving her spot, until you've found someone your compatible with."

"I don't need your help, the boy snapped. It's your fault you know!"

"I _know_ it's my fault," Gin stated. "However, I also know you _do _need help. You're stuck in bed because you are unable to use your left arm, and your left leg is dead weight below the knee."

"That's because I was injured there," came the grumble.

"And Unohana taicho says it's all psychological that you can't move them, simply because you lack the will to do so. It's because Ran-chan's gone, that you've gotten this way. I'm not going to let you do this to yourself."

Air blew hard through Hitsugaya's nostrils."Not only is that not in your right, but you still haven't answered why she told you."

"I think she'd want me to tell you. I love you, but I can't do that. I can only say I am proud of you, for all you've achieved. Maybe eventually I can say it, once I get to know you better, but truth is, I am still getting used to the idea of having a son."

Ichimaru didn't say anything more, and let the silence remain. After a few minutes of thinking, and almost chocking, Toshiro spoke up, after he had gotten over his initial shock. "So… the reason she told you, was because she wanted you and I to have the relationship we're supposed to have?"

"I think so. I think what she really wanted was for all three of us to be family." Gin's eyes suddenly opened wide, as he felt himself hugged from behind. One of Gin's hands reached up and grasped the small hands. The boy's hugs, were a lot like Ran's. She had said there was nothing of her in the boy, but truth was, Gin saw plenty. A real smile for once, crept across his face.


	6. VI: Death II

**Decision VI: Death II  
~Mother ~**

Seeing the small child curled up on the fourth division bed, in mental agony, hurt. Not that Gin could blame the child for being upset. Hitsugaya Toshiro had lost both Matsumoto and Hinamori at the same time.

Ichimaru stepped over, and pulled the small boy into his arms. He heard the small whimper. "Gin-kun?"

"You feeling all right, Shiro-chan?" the man rocked the boy back and forth in his arms.

"I want Ran-chan and Momo nee-san," the boy muttered.

"They're gone. Your stuck with me."

"Aizen won then?" the boy asked softly.

"No… I switched sides," the man held the boy close. Now was not the time to tell him the truth.

Gin also thought back, to when he was so determined about the mindset, survival of the fittest. With the small burden in his arms, he began to think otherwise.


	7. VII: Death III

**Decision VII: Death III  
~Mother ~**

Hitsugaya Toshiro stares at the ceiling, his will to do anything lost with the death of his fukutaicho and Hinamori. He blamed himself, for messing up like he did. He seemed to always hurt the ones he cared about.

He felt Ichimaru gin step into the room. "What do you want?"

"I'd like to talk to you," came the man's reply.

"Only if you'll tell me why you hurt Matsumoto the way you did." His two teal eyes remained locked on the ceiling, not exactly in truth staring.

"Fair enough. I thought it was the best way to protect you. I still think that."

"Excuse me?" Toshiro turned his head to glare at the man. "Why am I part of this?"

"Because your Ran and my child, Toshiro. Let's just say, if Aizen had been able to get his hands on you, particularly as a baby, all our lives would be a lot different."

"Oh, hah… hah… not funny." Toshiro crossed his arms irritably across his chest.

"Ask your granny… or that dragon of yours for that matter," the man stated.

"So then… why tell me this now?" the boy grumbled.

"Because now, rather than later, is the best time to tell you, I'm sorry you never will get the chance to have a mother and son relationship with Ran."

"Your blind. We did have one," the boy was still in a bad mood.

"Really? I know you're a touchy feely person, yet you pulled away from her. It was such a scarce relationship, where as it wouldn't have been, if you had both known."

"What about you and me?" Toshiro's eyes had returned to the ceiling.

"You mean about you and me having a father, son relationship?" Gin grimaced.

"What else would I be talking about, Ichimaru?" the boy's attitude was rather cold, making his father know he was on the defensive.

"For now, I'll remain in the background, Shiro-chan, and come out when you need me," the man opened his eyes, revealing a pale teal. "I'm not exactly the best father figure, don't you think?"

"So says the person who said just a little while ago, you separated Ran and me, because it was for my own good. If you want to do oka-san honor, this time around, you won't play hide and seek. You'll play tag, keeping in my sight, and be what I want to be better then."

"From the mouth of a babe, the most common sense things come," Gin sighed. "I can't make any promises, Shiro-chan."

"I know. The point, I think… is to try," the small boy stated, rather calmly, yet still distant at the same time. Things were still sinking into that small world of his,


	8. VIII: Death IV

**Decision VIII: Death IV  
~Father ~**

The small taicho was dead fast asleep. Matsumoto had done this routine many times. However, this time, she was a bit more anxious. He had been asleep a couple of days longer than anyone else. More than ever too, she wanted to hold him in her arms.

Suddenly, two bright eyes opened weakly. "Matsumoto… your all right. Hinamori?"

"We both woke up before you did, when it should have been the other way around," the woman smiled, relief coming to her, but only slightly.

"Momo… she's mad at me. I mean, she's not here too." There was a sad look in his eyes. No. She's not visiting because, whenever she sees you, or hears your name, she has a mental break down." Ran brushed some of his white, silverish hair away from his eyes.

"Then she is mad," came the sigh.

"No. More like she is physically making herself sick," the woman gave Toshiro a weak smile.

"You're sad. Gin didn't make it, did he? He abandoned you Rangiku," the small boy stated, his eyes still filled with a kind of sadness, someone his age shouldn't have.

"Taicho… I think we need to talk."

"About what? The boy stated, as she got on her knees, so her face was close to his.

"Then he abandoned you too," Matsumoto ran fingers through his hair. The boy gave her a confused look. Glancing away, she explained.

"When Gin and I were young, we messed around. I became pregnant. I thought I'd miscarried a baby girl. Truth of the matter was, Gin went and hid you… not from me, but Aizen."

"Rangiku… he tried killing me. He left with Aizen." Hitsugaya's voice had a panic to it, as if he felt that Gin had found one last way to have a hold on Rangiku.

"Taicho… Gin pulled a fast one on Aizen. Aizen calculated all of Ichigo-kun's battles. Except, he didn't calculate Ichigo defeating Gin. He knew it would give Ichigo the push he needed to beat Aizen," Matsumoto was desperately trying to hold her tears in.

"Gin couldn't have know about Kurosaki though," the small boy closed his eyes.

"Just as Aizen's known about Ichigo since birth, so did he. He knew he was going to die for some time," Rangiku felt a few tears creep down her cheeks.

A weak, shaking hand reached up, to brush them away. "Don't cry. I'm still here M… oka-san."


	9. IX: Death V

**Decision IX: Death V  
~Father ~**

Matsumoto was rather in a stupor, due to the fact that Gin was gone. She did even less work, if that was at all possible. Everyone was worried about her, but they didn't know what to say to her. Gin died a hero, but truth was, the man had always had few people who liked him.

To everyone's surprise, whenever her small taicho saw her moping and staring out a window, he would go and hug her around the neck. Some passed it off as him trying to bolster her, in the way most effective. Others though, felt his hugs were on the clingy side. Then again, he was also still a child, and it was good to see some of that having remained.

A couple of weeks after Gin's death, Hitsugaya received an ample hug from behind. His head popped up from his paperwork. "Are you ready to get back to work? I am tired of the paper piling up."

"Toshiro?" Rangiku continued to hold onto him.

"I thought you weren't going to use my first name, unless we weren't at work, and we were alone," the boy stated.

"Please…" the woman mumbled into his ear. Toshiro gave her one of his smiles, though she couldn't see. He wrapped his small hands around her arms.

"You know I love you oka-san?" the boy murmured himself.

"I know… I am so thankful, you weren't angry at me, Toshiro, when I told you the truth," Matsumoto closed her eyes, and ran her fingers through his white hair.

"Why, when you've looked after me my whole life, even though it's been from a distance. I mean, you're the reason granny always had money for food. You came to my rescue too, and convinced me to join the academy."

"There is… something else I need to tell you, Shiro-chan," Rangiku buried her face in the child's hair. "Can you tell me what you think of Gin."

"Don't worry. He turned sides. He died a hero," Toshiro gave another smile.

"No little one… I don't want you to regurgitate what you've heard others say. What you actually think."

"He scared me. I never could trust him. Yet I knew you did. I have an idea what you're trying to tell me, so just do."

"You… already know… Gin's your father?" Her hug suddenly tightened. I thought when you referred to us as classmates, that I had deferred your attention away from him as a possibility.

"I said that, because that was the easiest relationship to put you to into. He is… was unreadable. Plus, so many people compared us two…" Toshiro gave a weak smile. "I couldn't help but put things together."

"You are a lot like him. It scares me a bit, that your handling this so well…"

"Because…" Toshiro paused. "Oka-san. What was he really like. You're the only one who really knew him. I never got that chance."

"Let's start with, there are two reasons you wouldn't exist, if it weren't for him."


	10. X: Death VI

**Decision X: Death VI  
~Parents ~**

Nanao stood in her taicho's office, next to her childhood mentor, Lisa. Kyoraku Taicho for once, had a rather glum look on his face. "I'm sorry Lisa. I'll need to get permission, before I can get two fukutaicho," the man stated.

"Taicho, don't worry. Just transfer me to tenth division," Ise stated.

"Kyoraku garnished a disturbed look at this. "Nanao… I don't think Hitsugaya Taicho is ready to pick a new lieutenant."

"I don't care what rank I am. I made a promise to Rangiku, awhile back, and I plan to keep it."

"There is no way, Matsumoto could have foreseen Hitsugaya Taicho needing a new fukutaicho." The eighth division taicho pinched his nose.

Lisa spoke up for her young protégée. "Didn't she say that any rank would do? I have to say, the promise isn't what you think it is."

"Nanao-chan. Care to disclose?"

"Please understand. Hitsugaya Taicho doesn't even know yet. Rangiku was afraid to tell him. This was something she dreaded telling even Gin."

"So… is this something you need to tell him yourself?" Kyoraku asked.

"As his Godmother, yes," Nanao stated, watching as her taicho's jaw dropped.

"Nanao-chan… quit joking around!" the man choked out.

"I don't think she is. As of the Winter War, that small boy became an orphan, as _both_ of his parents died."

"Kyoraku pinched his nose again. "I want to go out drinking…"

"Not until you sight the transfer papers," both females chorused at the same time.


	11. XI: Trust I

_Potential spoilers: Up to chapter 412..._

**Decision XI: Trust I  
~Explaining ~**

"You're in the way," Matsumoto sat in the medical room, remembering the last words Gin had ever said to her. She shivered, as she thought of how much trust the man had broken with her. She grasped the sheets tightly. No news of what happened to Gin, came to her. However, at this point, she found knowledge not something she wanted.

"_Why? Why did I hold out the belief that Gin had good in his heart?_" She asked herself. Why, truth be told, had she gone after the man. Her stomach ached, reminding her of the main reason why she had always never fully given up, until now. The pain felt, wasn't for the same reason as she had felt before. However, she closed her eyes.

She felt bitter, that she had overlooked that one thing. Truth of the matter was, there was something she should have been thinking of more. Carefully, she pushed back the sheets, and tiptoed out of the room, her senses picking up on the small reflections of reiatsu. She gave a smile, thinking of how calming, being able to feel that wild reiatsu was to her.

She stepped into the room, where she saw her small taicho propped up against the headboard, sleeping away. However, as she stepped in, he startled awake. His eyes were dim, half lidded. "Rangiku?"

"Hello taicho... little one," the woman smiled, stepping over and sitting next to him, taking his small hand in hers gently. His eyes were the same color as that mans, except brighter, and filled with more light, and hope, even though some seemed to have left due to the things going on.

"You saw him again, didn't you," the small boy asked, tilting his head to the side. "It didn't end well, did it?"

Matsumoto closed her eyes, suddenly remembering the last time she had looked into that man's eyes. She had always remembered them being more cheerful, more full of life. However, this time around, they had been filled with a darkness, a hatred. "No... it didn't go well."

"Matsumoto..." the small boy paused. "Is there a reason you came to see me?"

"I just..." Rangiku opened her eyes, remembering she had never told her small taicho the truth, about how he was her little one. "I just wanted a chance to remember the few good memories he left me."

Toshiro tilted his face slightly. "Ran... is there something that you need to tell me. You're... acting weird."

The female gave him a weak smile. "Do you know how I found you so easily the second time that day?"

"You followed my reiatsu, simple as that," Toshiro sighed, placing his free hand on top of hers.

"Taicho... I was looking in on you, before your reiatsu even started to flair. Did you ever wonder, how your granny happened to have a few coin, to feed you and Momo by?" Matsumoto glanced away, wondering how he would take this news.

His mouth opened, then closed. His eyes, which were wide and child like, defaulted to his more mature look. "Rangiku, are you telling me, you're the one who left me with grandma. I _thought _I died and came to soul society."

"I know I should have told you sooner, but..." Rangiku paused, suddenly biting her lip.

"I get it. You didn't want me to think badly of you. I am a little disappointed that you didn't tell me, but you had your reasons." Hitsugaya pulled his hand away, and placed them behind his head.

"It's not me that I didn't want you to feel badly about. Now, I could care less, I guess." A tear fell down the woman's cheek. "I _really _don't care anymore."

Again, the small boy's mouth opened, then closed. "Matsumoto... I..." However, the white haired taicho stopped. "How much like him, am I?"

At this, Rangiku took a deep breath. "Taicho..."

"Toshiro... we're speaking private, so titles aren't needed. It will take some time getting used... to things." Hitsugaya glanced at the foot of the bed. "How much like him, am I?"

Rangiku closed her eyes. "You... you are the one good thing that ever, ever came about from that man."

"You never did find out, why he was following Aizen, did you?" Toshiro asked, his mouth frowning.

"No, I didn't. I don't have the answers I need," Matsumoto sighed.

Suddenly, she felt two small hands, pulling on her robes, using it as a way to pull himself up. Toshiro then wrapped around her. "I promise... I won't do something like that to you."

Rangiku wrapped her arms around the small boy, and began to sob into his shoulder.

07/21/10- It's been awhile... still have a few ideas to put out.


	12. XII: Trust II

_Potential spoilers: Up to chapter 413..._

**Decision XII: Trust II  
~Eyes ~**

Matsumoto sat in the fifth division office, staring out the window. As she waited for someone in particular, she happened to think back, to when she last saw that man. His green eyes lacked the mirth and joy, that she happened to have become accustomed to. As it was, relationship wise, she had been the one closest to him.

His teal eyes, had a level of hatred, she had never seen in any one person's eyes before. The eyes sent shivers down her back, and made her feel like she was being chocked by snakes. She felt this even more, when he had stabbed her in the shoulder, and as she lay on the ground, chocking up her own blood. The memory was bitter.

"Rangiku-san?" came the soft voice from the doorway, causing her to look up at the lieutenant of the fifth division squad. "Are you all right?"

"Why haven't you gone to visit taicho? He could really use a visit from you, you know," the female stated firmly.

"Is that why you came?" Momo glanced at the ground, her composure rather nervous.

"Yes. I wanted to know why," Matsumoto stated.

"I can't face him. He's changed. He's changed too much," Momo sighed, going over to her desk and taking a seat.

"What do you mean he's changed? I mean, yes, he's extremely depressed right now, but you wouldn't know that unless you visited him," Rangiku had a frown on her face.

"You wouldn't understand. His eyes were frightening," Hinamori sighed. "Someone I knew very well, stabbed me through the chest. You _really _wouldn't understand."

Matsumoto got up, and sat on the edge of the small desk, picking up a nut from the bowl, and cracking it open. "Actually, I would understand. I had to look straight into Ichimaru Gin's face, as he told me I was in the way, and as he took his zampaktuo, and stabbed me."

"It's different though," Hinamori stated firmly, a piece of paper scrunching as her grip tightened on it.

"Yes. It was different. Ichimaru Gin broke my trust. Hitsugaya Toshiro, was trying to protect you. There is a major difference," Rangiku tossed the shell into the trash can. "Taicho and Gin, they aren't the same person."

"How can you know! You thought you knew Gin! I thought I knew Toshiro!" Momo burst out.

"The thing is, it isn't a matter of thinking I knew Gin. Truth of the matter, I had known the real him at one point, but somewhere along the line, he just so happened to change." Rangiku picked up another nut. "I have to say, I don't think you've ever really known taicho."

"That isn't true!" Hinamori stated firmly.

"I would say that the Gin I knew, had a good heart, but I also knew from watching him, how cruel he could be. I had known that for a long time." Matsumoto asked, watching Hinamori fidget. "Then, who was the Hitsugaya Toshiro you knew?"

"Toshiro's supposed to be a sweet, innocent kid, who couldn't take care of his own self," Hinamori stated.

"That was all you wanted to see. Taicho can take care of himself, a lot more then you think. He's also not been as innocent of the world around him as you think either. Along with his warm side, he's had a cold side about him, much longer then you think, long before the academy."

"How would you know. I've known him since he was itty bitty," Hinamori stated firmly.

"Do you promise, not to tell taicho what I am going to tell you?" Matsumoto stated, waiting for the girl to nod her head. "I've been watching taicho for a long time. It hasn't just been since he graduated, or he entered the academy, but a long time before. It's one of the reasons I know, taicho is not Gin. He's in fact, far from it."

"I am not sure if I can look at him though."

"He hurts, because he hurt you, even though it was unintentional." Rangiku then got up and headed for the door, giving the fifth division fukutaicho a smile. "Of course, taicho is the one good thing I have in my life, and really the only good thing I can say that has come from that person."

07/22/10- A new day! :)


	13. XIII: Trust III

_Potential spoilers: Up to chapter 413..._

**Decision XII: Trust III  
~Protecting ~**

Matsumoto lay on her bed, her body slowly recovering from her injuries. Her energy level was actually coming back. She hadn't had many thoughts that crossed her mind. However, her mind was still trying to wrap around why Gin had betrayed her trust. Everything in truth hurt, bad, both physically, and mentally. Truthfully, it was mostly mental, as her injuries in truth were healed.

Isane came into the room, rather nervous. "I am glad that you are feeling better, Ran-chan."

"Do you have any information for me. How's taicho?" Rangiku stated firmly.

"He's mostly healed..." Isane stated. "Ichimaru Gin is bothering him though, and has refused to leave his side."

"What!" Rangiku sat up straight. "They are letting Gin have his freedom?"

She quickly pushed her bed clothing away. Isane tried holding her down. "Rangiku! You need to rest!"

"Not if _he's_ near taicho," Matsumoto muttered, pushing hard.

**M**

Toshiro sat propped up in his bed, watching the man that was sitting there. He would have been nervous, except for the fact that he knew why Gin had been spared. At the end, he had turned on Aizen, and made it so they could win the battle... something, that Gin had planned. Unfortunately, he was being bugged by this man.

Suddenly, Gin reached up, and pulled on the sides of his mouth with his fingers, and stuck out his tongue Toshiro narrowed his eyes. "You really aren't funny."

"Come on, chibi taicho. You need a good laugh," Gin stated firmly.

"The one who needs a good laugh is Matsumoto," Toshiro stated, a grin spreading on his face. "Hmm... wait, you've been avoiding her. Why?"

"You're mean." Gin frowned.

"Go away."

"She's going to want to punch me, because I hurt her," Ichimaru stated.

"She'll get over it," Hitsugaya stated. "She's gotten over the other times you've run off."

"Shiro-chan, you don't get it, I physicallyhurt her this time," Ichimaru stated.

There was a fluctuation in the child's reiatsu, and the small taicho's mood grew dark. "Ichimaru... if I wasn't stuck in bed like I am, I would be throttling you right now. Why the hell would you do that, when you were going to turn?"

"Because Rangiku was in the way," Ichimaru stated, watching as the child's face twisted in confusion. "See, little one, it was better to hurt her, and make it so that she wouldn't go near Aizen, wasn't it?"

"What kind of logic is that?" Toshiro crossed his right arm across his chest, holding onto his left arm.

"Sometimes, to protect what you care for, you have to hurt it, to keep it safe," Ichimaru stated firmly. "I've even done that to you... hurt you to protect you."

"What is..." However, before the small taicho could ask what that meant, there was an interruption from the doorway.

"Ichimaru Gin!" Matsumoto muttered, glaring at the man.

07/22/10- A new day! :)


	14. XIV: Death VII

_Potential spoilers: Up to chapter 413..._

**Decision XIV: Death VII  
~Painful~**

Hitsugaya Toshiro walked through the halls of the forth division, following behind Unohana Taicho. His eyes had a clouded look to them, and his reiatsu fluctuated wildly. Unohana glanced back at the small taicho. "You need to calm down and relax. Otherwise you'll make yourself sick."

"How can one relax, when they are viewing the dead body of someone that they happen to have a close bond to," Toshiro stated, his mood showing through.

"At least you are admitting for once that you have a bond with someone," the woman smiled. "Though admitting it after the fact, isn't really the best thing.

"Finding a replacement..." The small taicho closed his eyes, as Unohana opened the door to the mortuary. His body suddenly shivered, yet, even though he wished to not have to do this, the fact he was a captain, made it a definite His eyes watched as the forth division captain stepped over to the covered body. He folded his arms across his chest.

"You know, you can step closer, Hitsugaya Taicho," the woman stated, watching as Toshiro stayed where he was. "Though, if you don't feel comfortable..."

"What would you do?" he asked.

"Well, if it was me, if I didn't come close, and take a good look at the person, I would regret it," the woman stated.

Toshiro took a couple of steps forward. "Has he come forward?"

"Don't you mean, has he come to visit her here? He hasn't come," Unohana stated, giving him a sad look. "You know... I could always have a different captain do this."

"She was my fukutaicho," came the chocked response, as he finally stepped next to the table. "I have to do this. Doesn't surprise me that he didn't come. He doesn't care. The only reason he was let off, was because he turned on Aizen. I don't trust him."

"You ready now?" Unohana asked. When the boy nodded , she pulled the sheet back, so that Toshiro could see the person's face. "We cleaned her up. She was rather bloody."

"How did she die?" Toshiro asked, his hand gliding over Matsumoto's body. His eyes suddenly went wide, as he felt a trace of reiatsu at the shoulder area.

"She lost too much blood, simple as that," the female stated.

"Unohana Taicho... did he use his zampaktuo on her?" A look of horror had passed over the small boy's face.

"Hitsugaya Taicho, don't go after him," Unohana taicho forewarned.

"He hasn't been reinstated as a captain, thus it wouldn't be a fight between two captains," the small boy grumbled, his reiatsu flared. He was suddenly turning on his heals and hurrying away, much to the older taicho's dismay.

His steps clattered against the rooftop, the sound reverberating and sounding as hollow as his emotions felt. He sensed around for the man's familiarity, then hurried forward. He pulled out his zampaktuo, and attempted to swing it down, only to have it clang against the shorter zampaktuo. The man spoke up, his tone rather dry. "I don't have time for your games, Hitsugaya Taicho."

"Can you tell me, Ichimaru Gin, if you hadn't stabbed her, that she wouldn't be alive!" the small boy roared.

As the silver haired man sat on the edge of the roof, he suddenly sprung up, grabbing the small boy by the throat, and forcing him hard to the roof. His other hand used his zampaktuo to hit the ice dragon away from Toshiro's hand. "Shiro-chan, repeat what you just said."

"Eherh," the small boy let out. His two teal eyes suddenly reflected a fear, that they rarely, if ever showed. However, that quickly left, and the two eyes began to water, unintentionally. The boy swallowed hard.

"I asked you, to repeat what you said," Ichimaru stated, as he glared at the boy straight in the face. When he still received no response, he repeated, his mouth turned into a frown, his eyes a red shade as they looked at the boy. "Brat... repeat what you said."

"If you hadn't stabbed her, she would be alive," Toshiro's hands reached up, to pull on Ichimaru Gin's, as a few tears rolled down his cheeks. "Matsumoto was the closest thing I ever had to a mother."

To the small taicho's surprise, the man's face softened. "If I hadn't stabbed her, she would be dead by Aizen's hands."

The man backed away, and went back to sitting on the edge of the roof, staring at the sky. Toshiro sat up, his eyes first going to the sword lying on the roof, however, suddenly thought better of it, simply going and picking it up and sheathing it. He crept a little closer. "What did you mean, she would have been dead if you hadn't."

Gin glanced up at him his eyes oddly having changed to a softer color, that seemed familiar. He patted the spot on the roof next to him. "I won't bite. I mean, if something happened to you, it goes without saying, they would come after me first. Actually, if anything happened to anyone."

Warily Toshiro snuck over and sat on the roof, his body tense. "But what did you mean by that?"

"Sometimes, to protect those you care for, in the process of doing so, you have to hurt them," Gin stated firmly. "If I hadn't knocked Rangiku out cold, she would have gotten near Aizen, and he would have killed her. It was a risk I felt I had to take. Actually, I thought she would make it, and be coming after me right now. I'm still waiting for her to come after me actually. And to ask me why I sided with Aizen, like she tired asking me then."

"Couldn't you just have kept her busy?" Toshiro asked.

"She was in the way, Shiro-chan," the man stated, only to suddenly have the small boys hand shove his away.

"You said that you hurt her, to keep her away from Aizen!" Toshiro snapped out.

"You don't get it. My plan had been to turn on Aizen, for a very long time. I was trying to keep him distracted, long enough for the Kurosaki kid, to do what he needed to," Gin stated firmly. "If I had been arguing with Matsumoto, I couldn't have distracted him the way I was."

Toshiro still glared at the man. "Why would you throw away something you care so much about, for something you don't care anything about?"

"What do you mean, something I don't care anything about?" Gin gave the small boy a confused look, pulling one of his knees up to his chest.

"You don't care about soul society, do you?" Toshiro muttered, his reiatsu flaring up, and his annoyance showing.

"No. I don't care about soul society and it's stuck up ways," Gin stated. He suddenly grinned when Toshiro reached his hand up for his zampaktuo. "Neither do you..."

"But to throw her away, for nothing," Hitsugaya's nostrils flared.

"Ran would agree with me, you aren't nothing.." Ichimaru returned to watching the sky.

"What..." Toshiro pulled back, his hand falling limp.

"I told you, if I have to hurt that which I care for, to protect it, I will do it. Not only would Ran and I both give up our lives for you, we would chose your life, over that of each other," Gin stated firmly.

"Don't... try to pass the blame of her death... onto me." The small taicho backed away, finding tears running fresh down his cheeks.

The look that Gin gave him was slightly worried. "I should have been upfront with you. The first time I hurt to protect you, was to make it so your mother could never hold you in her arms. It's the duty of a parent to do that."

At that, Toshiro stood up, a frightened look on his face. "This is a nightmare."

"Then pretend that we never had this conversation, if it makes you happy," Gin stated firmly. "I know I am very far, from the ideal parent."

"Hell, you could have tried telling me a different way!" Toshiro snapped.

"So says the child who tried to kill me," Gin stated. "And I didn't want you to know, really. You deserve better... and if I had my way, Ran would still be alive, even after that blow I gave her. I would have somehow died at Aizen's hands, when he found out I tricked him, as he died. It's what I deserve, and it's what Rangiku deserves. Deserved..."

"Are... you still getting used to the fact that Ran's dead?" Toshiro asked, his body still nervous.

"Kiddo..." Gin paused, then gave him a weak smile, compared to his normal one. "That isn't something you get over easily. Do what you wish."

"It's not as if anything I do can bring her back," Toshiro stated. "Hating you, isn't something she would want either." At that, the small taicho shunpoed away, leaving the man behind.

07/24/10- A new day! :)


	15. XV: Child I

**Decision XV: Child I  
~Watching~**

The small boy lay prone on the forth division bed, his breathing shallow and rhythmical. His chest went up and down. His skin paled in the dim light, reflecting that he wasn't well. A man came into the room, and sat there for awhile, reaching out every now and then, almost as if they were tempted to take the child's small hand into their own bony one.

The man stayed there for a few hours, watching the comotose preteen. Soft footsteps were audible in the hall, however, the man payed them no mind. However, the voice drew his head to look at the person. "Gin?" His head turned back to the small child, remaining silent, and the person walked over to the bed. "What are you doing here?"

"Hoping that chibi taicho will wake up," the man stated firmly. His mouth clamped shut.

"Ichimaru... you stabbed me. What do you have to say for that?" Matsumoto asked, her voice filled with slight iritation.

"You were in the way," came the direct reply.

"Gin... that isn't an awnser," Matsumoto stated.

"You wanted me to awnser questions, and wouldn't have given me the chances I needed to distract Aizen, until Ichigo got there," Ichimaru stated firmly. "You wondered why I followed him, right? That's it... to make it so that he wouldn't be able to suceed."

"Am I to believe that?" Rangiku asked, her voice cold.

"Believe what you want," Ichimaru stated, his voice lacking the normal pep that his words were known for.

"Gin... what is the matter?" Matsumoto sighed.

"He wasn't supposed to get hurt like this. He is supposed to be awake, yelling at you, lecturing Hinamori Fukutaicho about calling him Shiro-chan." The man suddenly found himself flinching, as Rangiku stuck her face in front of his.

"This is odd. You tend to not act like you care about anyone but yourself, and messing with people's minds," Rangiku stated.

"I care about you," Gin stated.

"Uh-huh..." Ran shook her head.

"I know I stabbed you, but if you had followed me, Aizen would have killed you," the man let his sliver head dropped to his hand.

"Gin... why are you so worried about taicho?" Ran asked.

"I'm sorry, Ran. I took him from you as an infant, so Aizen wouldn't get him. But... this happened..."

"You know, normally this would be the time to punch you... but..." Two arms wrapped his arms around his neck. "I don't think this is the right time. He's strong. He'll get better."


	16. XVI: Child II

**Decision XVI: Child II  
~Dress Up~**

Everyone was in a deep depression after the Winter War. Yet, everyone tried to make things go as smoothly as they were before. The small taicho worked on the paperwork, trying to ignore the fact that his fukutaicho was missing, and her paperwork was sitting on her desk.

Suddenly, a head stuck into the room. "Is Ran-chan here?"

The small taicho's eyebrow suddenly twitch. "Ichimaru..."

"Ahh... chibi-taicho... no need to have a fit." The man waved his hand.

"They should never have pardoned you," the boy stated, as the man stepped into the room. He watched with his two eyes, as Gin stepped over to Ran's desk. "Leave her stuff alone."

"Don't worry." Ichimaru stated, taking the paper on top of the big stack and grabbing a pen. "I'm just going to get some of this work done."

The small taicho felt his face turn green, and he was shocked. "Ichimaru, why are you helping?"

"Because, I have nothing better to do," Gin stated, continuing to work on the paperwork. "It isn't as if I am a member of a division right now either."

"You are wierding me out," Toshiro stated, continuing to stare at him. "You never have done things just because..."

The silver haired man didn't comment, but continued working on the papers. After a couple of hours, someone slid into the room. Paper bags could be heard crinkling. "Taicho! I'm back!"

Two heads suddenly looked up. The small taicho suddenly had a rather irritated look on his face. "Matsumoto. You went shopping?"

"Yup! That is a better way for me to relieve my stress, instead of drinking sake," the female stated, then set out with a pouty face. "Besides, it isn't as if I went shopping for myself this time."

At that, the small taicho felt his shoulders pull back with tension. "You didn't..."

"Come here taicho!" Matsumoto began to wave him over.

"Ran-chan, what are you doing?" Gin suddenly asked.

Suddenly, the female noticed the man at the desk, and bristled. "You... what are you doing here?"

"You're paper work, so chibi-taicho isn't as stressed," the man stated, flipping the brush around in his fingers.

"Come on taicho! Do I have to drag you out of your chair?" Matsumoto stated, suddenly setting the bags down. She walked over, and forcibly drug her small taicho away from his chair.

"Seriously... Ran... what are you doing?" Ichimaru touched his nose with a bent finger.

The female though choose to ignore him, as she held onto her small taicho's arm, and began to pull out an outfit, then held it up to him, a smile on her face. "Taicho, I think that this will look good on you, when you have to go to the living world."

"Ran... your taicho isn't a doll to play dress up with," Gin stated firmly.

"I've always done this, and taicho's never minded," Matsumoto stated firmly.

"I mind," Gin stated. "He's a boy you know, not a little girl."

"I don't think you have a place to talk," Matsumoto's voice tightened. Toshiro found himself looking back and forth between the two. "You've never said anything before."

"Because I really didn't have the chance too," Gin stated firmly.

"You two do realize, you _aren't _my parents?" Toshiro stated, suddenly pulling away from Matsumoto. "You both sound silly." To his surprise, both of the adult shingami suddenly looked at each other, a smile spreading on each face. "What? What is going on?" However, this was answered simply, by Matsumoto suddenly letting out a chuckle, and holding her hand to her mouth, closing to her eyes.

07/25/10


End file.
